What in the thirteen and a half  hells! The printing press was invented almost 600 years ago!

As I left the Elven city of Alfborg, I happened upon a colorless man ¹Note: All of the elves’eses’ names in Llthraim’s journals relate to color. Colorless means, “not in his nation”, kinda like “goy” in hebrew just means, “not Jewish”. Man means “human”I don’t know why he insists on calling me specifically a colorless man. travelling from the Verdant Land ²I explained to him where I’m from like a dozen times, so this probably means North America . He saw my downcast face and spoke to me in a tongue of Anglish I had not heard before. He was more curious than most and seemed keen on a conversation.

I could make no sense of his Anglish, but he managed through bits of Catalan and Portuguese to ask if we could speak Castilian or French. So we spoke about in Castilian and French on the subject of this printing press.

The colorless man was unlike the Iberrians and seemed unfamiliar with their hidden folk. He knew nothing of the Navia nor of Lugus. He had never once crossed even a mortal Moura, let alone an enchanted one! He seemed fixated on my experiences with the golem, though and inquired what I knew of Lilith and her kin.

He was unfamiliar with the Traveler’s Talkabout ³Translation Issue:
He couldn’t tell me what a “Traveler’s talkabout” was without using both Traveler and Talkabout so your guess is as good as mine. No one ever told him how a definition works. and seemed unsatisfied at my revelation of this printing press. He claimed it was centuries ago and created by a smith, and he knew little else.

I asked if he had ever seen a printed book and he laughed as though I were the queer ⁴Gay. He means gay. Dude made the universal gesture of a penis in a mouth. one. Then he showed me a handful of the marvelous beauties he had brought with him from The Verdant Land.

That is when I came to know that something was amiss with the Elvens ⁵Translation Note: yet another friggin’ hard to explain plural.I think maybe “Elven” is more than one elf from the same nation. and Elvens is multiple elves of different nations? .

The colorless verdanterman had so many questions about the hidden folk; he knew nothing fair and true of the Elvensen ⁶DAMNIT I DON’T KNOW ANY MORE!

The colorless man was fascinated by my journal and inquired of its origins. He peered at the script and thought it similar to Ebreolit ⁷Translation Note:
The Spanish word for “Hebrew” is “Hebreo” and the the Hebrew word for “Hebrew” is “Evrit”. The Hebrew word for Ladino (Judeo-Spanish) is “Espanyolit”.
So this is the Spanish word for the Ladino word for the Hebrew word for Hebrew.
I think. Though he was unfamiliar with the Seen tongues, he showed a remarkable aptitude for translating them and asked to have them for himself.

He was shocked when I told him I had signed a non-disclosure agreement and could not share my diary with him. One would think that the men would have discovered that such agreements are important for protecting their intellectual property by now!

But then, oh the blessed man (may he taste the rainbow) ⁸So help me God if eating skittles turns me into a friggin’ elf…he reminded me that those hats of asses⁹ Ok, so… maybe this means ass-hats? Or maybe he’s talking about literal hats on asses. No clue. had fired me. Surely this non-disclosure agreement would no longer apply!

So the colorless man asked if he could have a copy of my journal to share with his fishing net[sic] . I told him this was a queer ¹⁰He made thrusting motions with his pelvis when I asked if he could put it online. I am positive he means gay. request, but he is free to live his life as he wants ¹¹see?. I asked how we would serve my diaries to his net and he claimed to be a weaver of them ¹² I’m a web developer. So. yeah. I think he wishes to enchant his nets with my Elven script.

When I asked how I could give him a copy, he gave me his home ¹³Oh shit. No. No I did not. GO BACK LLTHRAIM! which I thought quite generous.

Given the colorless man’s wonderful kindness, It seems only fair that I copy my journals and send them to him. But it will not be easy.

I gathered from the colorless man that the Seen folk are quite lazy in the Verdant Land. They deliver no messages, speak no truth, and they cry no wars. Man must bear the burden of all three.

Man’s way of delivering messages is quite backwards as it requires the sender to pay while the receiver gives nothing (perhaps this is why he gave me his home). I have no [local currency] ¹⁴He used the Icelandic word “peninga” to pay for the post, but I suppose I could do some man-work for a change. The man-work will give me plenty of time to begin copying my journals. I suppose in some twelve months time I can send him my most recent one, and in twelven I could send him the histories of the Þrow.

He will appreciate my work so much more than the idiot Hvalthur.

The colorless man told me of the marvelous fishing webs that Man weaves.

I, too, am eager to learn why so many webs are weaved. ¹⁵This dude is so friggin unoriginal.